Sitting all alone on my birthday, got me thinking, and here is a summary of it all.
By now, I have done quite a few things I wished for when I was 23, I moved out of my hometown, also came back, lived in a couple of cities, fixed my relations with my parents, did my first overseas travel to Vietnam, reached the highest village in India, and explored quite a few places, sold the old shitbox(car) and got a new used car; amongst all of these, I started making decent money, money which makes my day to day friction free.
So while the life seems a little too perfect, it really hasn’t been.
I had to shut my business, lay off people(this is the hardest), join a company I didn’t like, live in cities I didn’t like, endure through rough times where people broke my trust and put me through some trying times, but that’s a story for another day.
These three years have seen a massive shifts in me; opinions solidifying, ambitions changing from chasing new highs to having a slower, calmer, happier, and intentional life, being more protective of the people I love, and the fear of missing out on my young years has amplified, as I only have about 4 to spare; there’s so much I want to do, which I have means and the time to do, but just cannot, because this life doesn’t allow for it.
Amongst all, the fear of not becoming anything, a life gone to waste threatens me the most.
Someone who has always treaded alone, I have now started treating relationships, companionship and friendship very seriously; nobody is strong enough to live out their life alone.
At 26 you start yearing for a companion, the calm to your chaos, someone you can come back to no matter what, someone who can prioritise you, and always has a space for you.
And in today’s world, finding this is impossible, and hence the struggle between your head and the reality.
But, this is something I want to get over with as soon as possible, because believe it or not, you need someone by your side, and whom you select is going to be a single point of life alteration.
Looking forward:
- I want to be 100% free of all physical and metal diseases, disorders, and want to be in the best possible form of myself.
- Build a stronger financial foundation for the future, need to increase my primary income, and build secondary sources of income.
- Marry someone who will love me, take care of me, and be the calm to my chaos and also depend on me for the same as well as other things.
- Build my first safe house; a place to come back to when I have lost it all.
- Travel extensively, long slow travel and if possible travel across the entirety of India.
- Find the right places I want to spend my life at.
